Working through an affair can be one of the most turbulent events in your relationship. The truth of the matter is that many couples feel that the best way to heal after an affair is to simply ignore it and move on. In some cases, time may be just what your relationship needs, while in others, it can be a powerfully destructive force. Whether you are the “cheater” or the one who has been “cheated on,” working through an affair can be made easier with the assistance of a counselor.

Understanding Your Emotions-Individual Healing

During the first phase of working through an affair, it is important to remember that individual healing is paramount. During your healing process, you may ask yourself questions about why you were cheated on. You may even want to learn more about the other person involved, and more specifically the details of the event. While it is important that you eventually learn these details, it’s vital that at this moment, you focus on healing yourself. The process of working through your emotions post-affair can be especially troublesome, particularly if the affair has just occurred. It is imperative that you love yourself and that you come to terms with the event before you can begin to heal the relationship.

Working Through Key Issues-Healing Your Relationship

The first and most important step to working through an affair with a counselor is to secure a method of communication that you are both comfortable with. The person in the relationship who has been cheated on may not be comfortable being in the same room as the individual who cheated on them. In this instance, you may begin the early stages of therapy by speaking over the phone, or another similar method of communication. After you have moved through this crucial portion of your therapy, it is important that you uncover the answers to these questions:

• Why the affair happened?
• How to mutually come to terms with the event?
• What to do when neither party sees eye-to-eye?
• How to help the spouse who has been cheated on believe the other is being honest
• How to end a conversation before it becomes damaging to your relationship?

After you have moved past these steps, you can begin to heal and strengthen your relationship despite the events that have transpired.

Rebuilding Your New, Stronger Relationship

Whether you believe that it is possible or not, working through an affair with the correct building blocks in place is possible. Once you have renewed trust with your spouse, and understand the infinite value of open communication, you can begin to rebuild and strengthen your relationship. Given time, with the assistance of a counselor, you will start to feel reconnected emotionally and physically with your partner. Through hard work and perseverance, a renewed, strengthened relationship can blossom.

The highly experienced professionals at Gateway Counseling have helped many couples move past the disparaging effects of an affair. If you and your spouse are looking for assistance in working through an affair, contact Gateway Counseling for a free consultation at 561-468-6464.