John D. Hawkins Jr., M.S., C.A.P., Registered Mental Health Intern

One of the first questions I ask every new client is, “Have you ever been to counseling before.” Some answer they have, and they found it helpful. Others respond with incredulous tales of their former therapist checking messages on their Iphone during session or telling them advice, such as to commit infidelity as a way to assuage their feelings of anger and regain a sense of empowerment lost from being a victim of unfaithfulness, both of these are true stories by the way. But the majority reply this is their first experience with any type of counseling, and they have no clear idea of what to expect.

Subsequent to taking the time to listen to a client’s presenting problem and provide them with an opportunity to be truly heard, perhaps for the first time, it is very important for me to present comprehensible information regarding how the process of therapy works, as well as clear expectations of what it is capable of offering.

One of the major causes of unsuccessful outcomes for many clients is discontinuing therapy due to discouragement related to unrealistic goals and expectations as to what therapy can accomplish. Therapy can be a life-altering experience that can increase an individual’s ability to develop and maintain healthy intimate relationships, overcome long-standing addiction, or regain a long lost sense of authentic self. However, these lofty aspirations cannot be achieved in a matter of several weeks. These issues have been recurrent or taken years to develop and maintain themselves; they will not be alleviated in the standard eight sessions managed care deems appropriate to overcome these challenges.

Therapy does not necessitate spending years of psychoanalysis as in past times, but it does require a commitment on the part of the client and the therapist to stay devoted to the process until the client reaches their desired goals. And this course will be unique to each individual. While I as a therapist cannot guarantee outcomes, I believe every client is capable of attaining their objectives if they are willing to work hard enough and remain in therapy.

Ambivalence is part of change. One can enter therapy initially to work through their ambivalence regarding entering therapy. Furthermore, when one encounters conflicting feelings during the course of treatment, it is another opportunity for growth and change. I encourage everyone considering entering therapy to begin to develop a clear vision for what you want to obtain from the experience, as well as realistic expectations as to what your therapist is capable of offering. This can be a great aid for sustaining motivation for the challenging times one is sure to encounter along the way. I am a big believer you can get through any ‘how’ if you have a big enough ‘why’. In addition, it is difficult to arrive at a destination when you don’t know where you’re heading.