Top 100 Couples Therapy Questions By Topic Posted on January 5, 2022, updated on March 4, 2024 by Dr. John Hawkins, Sr. Attending couples therapy is an excellent way to resolve complex problems, fix communication issues, set relationship goals, and form a stronger bond. If you’re new to couples therapy, you may be wondering what kinds of couples therapy questions will be asked in a session or what questions you should ask your couples therapist. The couples therapy questions that you and your partner choose to focus on will heavily depend on why you’ve decided to go to therapy. You may be concerned about trust, finances, or communication. Below are some examples of couples therapy questions that you can ask your partner, yourself, or discuss with your therapist. Each set of these couples therapy questions are arranged by topic. First, we begin with couples therapy questions to consider before your first session, followed by couples therapy questions to ask your therapist. This list also includes couples therapy questions regarding communication, intimacy, finances, and more. BEFORE COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS If you’re new to couples therapy, here are some questions to ask yourselves before your first couples therapy session: Why are we seeking treatment? What do we hope to achieve through couples therapy? Do we both feel comfortable with our chosen couples therapist? What are your expectations? How long do you see us committing to couples therapy? Do you have any concerns about going to couples therapy? Have you been to couples therapy before with a previous partner? Do you feel optimistic about going to couples therapy? Would each of us going to individual therapy also help? Is there anything pressing you’d like to discuss before our first couples therapy session? COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR THERAPIST What happens in a typical couples therapy session?Is there a couples therapy method or approach you frequently use?What are the benefits of couples therapy?Is couples therapy effective?What makes a relationship healthy?What are emotional needs?Can our mental health affect our relationship?Does online couples therapy work?What if one partner does not want couples therapy?What can we do to make our couples therapy sessions more productive? COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS CONCERNING COMMUNICATION How can we communicate more positively? Do we have a hard time understanding each other? Is it difficult to express your thoughts? Is it difficult to express your emotions? Does my busy [schedule/work commitments/anger…etc.] make it difficult for us to communicate? Do you feel alone?Would it help to set time aside to talk? Can we learn to problem-solve together? Can we learn to collaborate and compromise more? What do you think our communication obstacles are? COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS ABOUT SETTING RELATIONSHIP GOALS Where do you see us in the future? What do you think can help our relationship move forward? Do you feel committed to this relationship? How can we have more fun together? What does quality time look like for you? When was the last time we laughed together, and what were we doing at that moment?What have we learned from our mistakes? How can we create a happier household? What could we use more of in our lives? What could we use less of in our lives? COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS ABOUT INTIMACY What does intimacy mean to you?What does intimacy look like to you? Where does intimacy fall on your relationship priority list? Do you feel sexually satisfied in our relationship? What do you think prevents intimacy? Do you feel comfortable being intimate? Do you feel safe?Are you afraid of intimacy?What are some ways we can spend more private time together?Are you worried that romance is dead? COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS ABOUT VALUES Do you and I share the same values?Is religion important to you?Are politics important to you?Do you think we agree on moral decisions?Do you think we agree on ethical decisions?What were your family values like in your household?What are your cultural beliefs? Is creativity important to you? Are you interested in expanding your knowledge in different areas of life?Do we respect one another? COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS IN CASES OF INFIDELITY Why do you think you were unfaithful?Why do you think your partner chose couples therapy over a divorce or break-up?Do you think you can forgive an unfaithful partner?What drives you towards reconciliation? What does commitment mean to you?What does commitment look like to you?What are some healthy ways to deal with anger and resentment? What are ways we can heal together?Do you trust me?Can you learn to trust me again? COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS ABOUT FINANCES Are our finances a stressor on our relationship?Do you trust me to manage our finances alone? Can we manage our finances together?What are things we can both do to become more financially stable?Should there be more financial transparency in our relationship?Does our relationship place a burden on your/our finances?Am I financially responsible?How are finances affecting our relationship?Do you feel uncomfortable talking about money?Can we learn to communicate more positively about our budget? COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS REGARDING EVERYDAY LIFE Are we both contributing to household tasks?Do you feel overwhelmed with daily tasks?How would you describe your mood today?How do you generally feel when you wake up?How do you generally feel when you go to sleep?Is there anything your partner can do to help you get through your day?What are your daily challenges?Describe what a good day looks like for you. Describe what a bad day looks like for you. How does your partner fit into your day? COUPLES THERAPY QUESTIONS ABOUT INDIVIDUAL INDEPENDENCE How much time do you spend apart?Would you prefer more time alone? Do you feel comfortable when you’re not together?Do you feel like you’re an independent person?What are some of your personal hobbies, and are these hobbies you’d like to share?Do you and your partner like to do the same activities?Do you feel confident in your relationship when you’re not together?Do you trust your partner when you’re not together?Do you think more time/less time apart would help your relationship? Do you think individual independence is important?
