People’s capacity to rise from the most painful or challenging circumstances always amazes and inspires me. I am blessed to hear and witness this on a weekly basis. There were two sessions I participated in yesterday in which two different clients exhibited the most amazing strength in overcoming unbelievably difficult situations.

 

The first of these was a younger client that found herself completely abandoned and without any financial resources or social support. She recounted to me how at the most overwhelming and hopeless moment in which she realized no one was going to help her, there was something forced inside that arose and began to take steps towards climbing out of the place she was in.

 

The second client had the courage to exit a long-term relationship at an age when the majority of individuals would have just endured it due to their financial fears or fears of aloneness and inadequacy. However, they valued themselves and would no longer tolerate the neglectful and emotionally abusive behavior. They now are having an amazing time exploring new relationships, interests, and traveling. They did not give into others fear-based comments or their own self-doubt, but rather rose to the occasion and constructed a better and more fulfilling life for themselves.

 

There is a power inside each of us that is capable of achieving any dream or conquering any obstacle we may face. In my experience, it is most accessed through belief. In the case of my previous client, all the odds were totally against her. She had no money, no social support, and was locked in a facility against her will. However, there was a moment despite being in the depths of despair and being aware she was all alone, where something shifted inside of her and she began to take action to get to a better place. This was against all odds, but somehow, she was able to overcome this unbelievably hopeless situation.

 

It is interesting to me how this phenomenon expresses itself in different forms. An adolescent may finally stand up for themselves after being abused by a parent for years or bullied by a peer. A victim of domestic violence gets the courage to leave the relationship or file charges. An athlete might beat an opponent whom they had lost to numerous times or sets a personal best performance in their sport. This ability resides in each of us. I would say it has aspects of what we would define as healthy anger. A drive that unleashes that pushes through fear and self-doubt. Obviously, it has to be harnessed and not express itself as some out of control rage. Often, it can be in a calm and subdued way. Think of Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, or Jesus. A non-violent resistance that is powerful but does not contain hate or violence.

 

I believe it comes from beneath our conscious thought. Sometimes, if we stopped to think about what we were doing, we would probably shrink back into doubt, fear, or helplessness. It is more instinctual. It has to arise from a feeling state. This is something I attempt to induce in my clients by tracking for the smallest spark of it and then fanning the flame. I can assure you it is inside each of us. I would encourage each person no matter how defeated or disempowered your life may feel to reflect back over the course of your life and identify any time no matter how small you overcame a fear or manifested a strength or expressed yourself in a meaningful way. Then really focus on the memory until you can notice the positive energy or sensation in your body. Once you have done so, just sit with the feeling and image and track and notice it similar to mindfulness meditation. Stay with this process until the energy expands and strengthens to as strong an intensity as it will. Notice any positive images or thoughts that may arise as well. You can continue this process daily until it leads to you taking meaningful action.

 

If you experience difficulty remembering a situation, use a character from a book or movie that inspires you or you would love to emulate. Once you have a clear image of this person, do the same exercise I just mentioned. An even better way to engage in this process is to develop an image of you achieving what it is you desire in the future and sit with it until you have a felt sense in your body associated with attaining this goal. Continue to track and notice the image and feeling until it is strong and your belief in your ability to accomplish this is high as well.

 

The final thing I would encourage each person is to believe that this power exists within them even if they feel they have not exercised it. It is survival based and comes from deeper regions in the brain. One thing I can tell from my work as a psychotherapist is anything that is survival based is extremely powerful. Unfocused this force can lead to violence or addiction. However, channeled in the right way, it can unleash your greatness and assist you in accomplishing acts you are capable of that would be unbelievable to you at this point. Trust me on this. I have hundreds of examples I can share with you that would prove my case. Fill your mind with stories of individuals who have done so until the belief you can, too propels you to take steps toward releasing yours.

 

The key to unlocking this capacity is a combination of healthy anger/drive and belief. Focus this energy towards your goal. The greater the meaning this goal has for you, the more you will be able to sustain this energy. Identify a big WHY. Start to develop a vision for yourself, find ways to get inspired and increase your level of belief, then let this force build inside of you until you launch into taking action. Go for it! I promise you will be amazed at what you can accomplish and what you have been capable of all along.