Religious counseling can benefit couples no matter the reason for going. Whether your relationship has been on the rocks or marital infidelity has taken place, seeking religious counseling can provide faith-based solutions that are practical for making your marriage work.

Why a Christian counselor?

If you are a person of strong faith, you probably consider God to be the third part of your relationship with your partner. Counselors do not typically address this level of understanding during standard counseling. A Christian counselor, however, not only understands your views but likely shares them regarding faith.

Christian counselors are still counselors bound by certain methods and protocols. But, Christianity largely influences the techniques and goals they use and set. For example, a counselor may suggest prayer, scripture reading or meditation as a resolve for couples when appropriate.

Needs vary by couple. However, those who strongly identify with their faith may find interacting with another Christian who understands their moral and religious ideals allows for a more open dialogue.

How can you recover from an affair?

The first step to recovering is acknowledging that marital infidelity is common. While no one knows the exact percentage of infidelity occurrences, anonymous questionnaires have found around six percent of marriages face infidelity. The questionnaire, however, did not define infidelity. Do you define infidelity as intercourse, a peck on the lips or emotional infidelity? This means marital infidelity could be much more common than the study indicates.

Regardless of how common it is, counselors — both religious counseling and otherwise — see many couples trying to move on. Both parties will have learning to do. They will need to be transparent with their actions, clear with their communication and controlled with their emotions.

What should I expect in religious counseling?

When you enter religious counseling, you may notice the counselor encourage you to discuss the following more:

• Expectations and framing. How you view certain things is based on situations you’ve encountered and experiences you’ve faced. While we may not realize it, these views impact our relationships and how we communicate. For example, in a situation where a man doesn’t want to have kids, the wife may become frustrated. But after he explains that having a child led to his parents’ divorce, the wife will gain a new understanding.
• Interpreting what you hear. Communication is a two-way street. While understanding the framing of actions and words is important, you will also need to face some introspection. If, after a long day, a wife says, “Wow, that laundry has been sitting there all week,” the husband may take it as an accusation. He hears, “Why don’t you stop being lazy and do the laundry,” whereas the wife believes she was pointing out how busy they’ve both been this week. It’s important to clarify meanings. You also will learn to ask questions in case of misunderstandings before assuming.
• Acknowledge your needs. We all have emotional needs and insecurities. Here is a prime example of where religious counseling is beneficial. If a wife is facing depression, she may not want to acknowledge it. She may feel it’s something she has to handle alone. If her husband supports her and offers to pray with or for her, he is not only emotionally supporting her, but showing that he notices challenges she is facing.

How can Gateway Counseling help?

Gateway Counseling Center offers numerous services, including Christian Marriage Therapy and Affair Recovery. GCC recognizes that a vast majority of couples wish to have their religion not only respected but also incorporated into recovery and remediation. Some counseling services will not offer Christian counseling. Gateway believes to not incorporate religious counseling into their services is therapeutically irresponsible.

They offer a free initial consultation and explain that both parties will need to change their behavior for the marriage to work. Ultimately, they want to help renew your relationship with your partner. They don’t want you to focus on the past, rather look forward to the future and your marriage renewed.

During your first visit, the counselor will ask you to state why you’re in religious counseling and what you’re hoping to get out of it. It’s vital for you to be honest, as the counselor will have an intimate knowledge of your relationship. Plus, they cannot help you unless they know what is bothering you the most. They will give you ideas of small actions you can begin using at home to better your marriage. In religious counseling, you will be at ease knowing your counselor has your best interests in mind.