What is a life well lived? How do you measure success – money, possessions, power, popularity, position? People who don’t have these things are convinced if they get them they will feel successful. People who do have these things realize these things alone don’t make them happy and content. Something is still missing. So, what is the answer? Finding the answer requires self-reflection and self-awareness. It also requires the ability to step back from my everyday life and see things from a macro viewpoint. By this I mean seeing the big picture and realities of life. 

We are born and we die. We have a very limited amount of time on this earth. We can’t control when, where or to what family or environment we are born into. We can only control what we do with our life once we are here. We come into this world with nothing and we go out with nothing. What do we do with the “dash” between our birth date and our death date? There are universal emotional needs that every human wants to get met – to be loved, belong, have meaning and purpose. We also have physical needs that have to get met – food, shelter, clothing. In managing all of these things most people would say they want to find happiness and contentment. 

Time Starved 

Each of us are given twenty four hours a day in which to achieve and manage these needs and desires. We just don’t know how many days we have on earth to accomplish all this. This is a lot to try to pack into these hours. As I mentioned in my article on stress, most people feel time starved. They are frustrated with trying to manage life within the limited time. We feel we need more hours in the day or more days in the week. One of the major reasons we feel this pressure is because we are living at a pace God never intended for us to live at. We are cramming too much into our lives. 

There are different reasons for this such as the demands and expectations of modern society. But a major one is we haven’t figured out our life goal or we have lost sight of it. I refer to this goal as God’s design for your life. He has a design for every purpose. When discovered you will have found your life passion. You will feel, this is what I was born for. Even then there will still be the mundane duties of daily living 

you still have to do but you will be on the way to fulfilling the major emotional needs and desires of your heart. From this goal you will then work backwards. You know here is where you want to get to and you know where you are. What do you do to get from point A to point B? 

Now you can establish priorities and distinguish the urgent from the important. You can become ruthless with your time schedule so you know what to say yes to and what to say no to. You don’t allow everyone and everything else to run your life. Once you have figured this out and gotten better at living this way, then you can pass this knowledge to the next generation. This will help them and you. Allow me to explain. 

Children are indoctrinated at an early age to get sucked into this time starved and pressured lifestyle. The result is an increase in anxiety that we are seeing in the lives of young people today. There is another cause of this anxiety for kids – technology. They are glued to their phones and video games and develop a digital life while they withdraw from real life; spending hours a day on their devices. This turns into an

addiction just like if they were on a drug. Then the covid lock downs and isolation only added to the anxiety of our youth. 

But back to the lifestyle indoctrination. In past generations kids engaged in play outside with their friends. Life was less structured and programmed. There were little league sports and other activities they could get into. But there was more free time and more interaction with live people so they had to learn some social skills. Now the pressure and structure starts in preschool (pre meaning before kindergarten when they used to start school) and continues all through high school. They have to build a resume of all the right activities, high GPA, college courses during high school; all so they can get into the right college, so they can get a good job (to pay off their student loans). Why? So they can live the American dream, buy a lot of stuff for their house and kids. So they live the same time starved life of their parents and the cycle goes on. 

All of this seems to just happen to us without us even being aware of it. This is because we are indoctrinated into a culture that perpetuates this, so we don’t even see it. To break this cycle we have to learn to live counter-culturally. This is not an easy task but the rewards are worth it. 

Identify The Areas Of Life That Need To Be Balanced 

There is more to life than the material. The material needs do need to be met but what are other areas that compose your life. Let’s look at a few of them. You may think of others that I don’t mention here. 

1. Spiritual – Common sense tells us that everything flows from the spiritual. Why is this? Well, if we believe that God is the Creator of the universe, including humans; then he knows how everything in life is supposed to work. He has designed life principles into the creation that when followed give us a better quality of life. To live in harmony with these principles we need to develop a relationship with God so he can guide us through life. This means we need to spend time with him. We need to learn how to communicate with God and allow him to communicate with us. These two things are key to building any healthy relationship. 
2. Self-care – If you don’t take care of yourself you won;t be around or at least not be in any shape to care for others. This would include taking the time for regular check-ups with your doctor and keeping your health a priority. The older we get the more important we realize this is. Like someone said, “If I would have known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.” This would include getting proper sleep (7-9 hours a night), A healthy diet, some form of regular exercise. Developing the ability to relax and de-stress. This may be through a hobby, time with friends or something you do that doesn’t seem like work to you. 
3. Family relationships – Building and modeling a healthy and happy marriage. Building a good marriage isn’t complicated but it does take knowledge and effort. Spending time with your children and being emotionally present to build a loving relationship. Children want you to enter their world and show interest in their life. Then they are more receptive to the training you give them in life skills, character development, moral and spiritual values needed for them to be productive, independent members of society. If you are single, develop healthy friendships that encourage you.
4. Work and career – We are physical people living in a material world. We have basic material needs that need to be provided for. This requires finances, so we must work. There is dignity in work and a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It is part of that design I talked about. There are a lot of different jobs we can do in life to provide for our needs. But a career is about finding what we were designed to do. It is the coming together of our interests, abilities, talents, desires and passion. It is the sweet spot of life. We use all of these things to provide a service, fill a need or create an idea that we get paid for. 
5. Others in this world – “Love your neighbor as yourself,” Jesus said. How do I give back? How can I help others and make a positive difference in this world? Generosity, gratefulness, giving of my time, talents and treasure is the key to true happiness and meaning in life. If you don’t believe this just talk to those who are doing this and those who live selfish lives. Doing this gives me a cause greater than myself to live for, something we all desire. My life now has an outward focus rather than an inward one. This is the best cure for depression and a negative outlook. 
6. Personal development – How do I become the best version of me? How do I maximize my life potential? Not to compare myself to others but to fully live my life design. This requires a decision and a plan. Both of these things will include becoming a life-long learner, reading, having mentors, exposing yourself to opportunities that stretch and grow you, having goals and friends that make you better. 

Redeem The Time 

Reading all of this may make you feel more time starved and overwhelmed. You may be thinking, when will I ever find time to do all these things? Some of these things may sound too old-fashioned and out of touch with today’s realities. To that I would say, how does modern culture and its values seem to be working? Just look around at our families, schools, institutions, crime, culture, and people’s common sense. 

If you decide what you are doing now isn’t working that well, what do you have to lose by trying something different? You are going to put some new things into your life which means you will have to take some old things out. Be ruthless with pruning your schedule. Don’t allow the good to become the enemy of the best. Don’t give the urgent priority over the important. Don’t allow others or the culture to dictate your calendar. Be prepared to live counter-culturally and be misunderstood or even criticized by others. 

It is not about equal time for every priority but the appropriate amount of time. The benefit is you will feel greater control over your life. You will know what to say no to and not feel guilty. Time is one thing, once you spend it you can never get it back. It is what your life is made of, so spend it wisely. Live intentionally and make your goal to have a life well lived and in balance. Reach out to our online counselors and experienced therapists to discuss further.